The great takeaway from “Hella Open” is that all the protagonists absolutely suck at dating. At the start of the episode, Issa and her Tinder date (remember the ending from episode 2?), played by the FINE Luke James (“Cause I want yooooooou, baaaaaaby!”) making out on his couch. The moment builds up and quickly progresses towards having sex. However, Issa cannot stop laughing and eventually bows out of hooking up altogether.
Issa and Molly are at Molly’s crib as Molly tries to figure out how to build a piece of furniture she bought. Issa tells her about her hookup encounter, or lack thereof. “I just want to feel good!,” Issa tells Molly as she explains why she wants to engage in hooking up with men. She asks Molly to teach her how to be promiscuous (did that Timbaland “Promiscuous Girl” beat start playin’ in your head like it did for me?). Molly agrees to show her the ropes. In order to put herself to the test, she asks Molly to go out that evening. They dress up and head to a local club. There, Issa tries talking to different male patrons but to no avail. At the bar, a man tries talking to her and admits that he was only talking to her so that his boy could talk to her friend Molly. Whomp, whomp. But c’mon, she’s been out of the game for more than a minute!
Meanwhile, Molly fully engages in a conversation with a man who appears to be very interested in getting to know her. They exchange information in hopes to go out on a date together. Go Molly! The man is attractive, has a good job and has ALL his teeth! YEEEESSSSSS! They go on a date at a nice restaurant and they seem to have good chemistry. However, the conversation quickly progresses to talking about wanting to have a family, a topic that perhaps one shouldn’t address on their first date. After the date, Molly calls Issa to tell her how it went and discusses the red flags she saw while on it. Issa reveals to her that the man she was on a date with acted the way she did when she was actively dating. Molly finally got a taste of her own medicine and I bet it tasted like a tablespoon of Cod Liver Oil. Yuuuuuuuck. Later on, she receives several texts from the man asking her to go out again. She declines his first invite to a SZA show (Girl, are you crazy?! Dump him afterwards!) and his invite for dinner the following week. Finally, she was able to see that her thirst bucket approach to dating is completely off putting.
At work, Lawrence talks with his coworkers. His coworkers tell him about a dating event that they attend called “Startup Saturdays.” One of them tells him that he “would clean up nice” at the event. He finds out that the event is taking place the same day of Tasha’s family BBQ. He informs that he is unable to attend the event because he has to bring chairs for someone. Over at Tasha’s house, the two of them are on her bed watching television. She talks to him about her family but Lawrence is zoned out. The 60-second assassin tries to make a move on her and she turns down his advances.
Saturday arrives and Lawrence attends Tasha’s family BBQ, chairs in tow. She introduces him to a few of her relatives and they put him to work! He gets a call from one of his coworkers asking him if he is going to be able to make it to “Startup Saturday.” He finds Tasha and tells her that he has to leave for a few to attend to something at work. Lies, you tell! He attends the event with his colleagues. While there, one of them asks him what his dating situation is. He replies, “I’m dating.” A waitress approaches their table to take their drink orders. Lawrence tries to leave but decides to stay as he sees the waitress expressing her interest in him. Tasha contacts him throughout the time he is there and he replies with letting her know that he is still caught up with work. She calls and he picks up the phone. The barbeque is over and Lawrence didn’t go back. In response to her anger, Lawrence tells her that he is not looking to be in a serious relationship. Tasha’s reply to Lawrence chopped the Lawrence Hive at the LIFESOURCE. Tasha snatches the high top off Lawrence’s head and calls him a “f*** n**** that pretends to be a nice guy.” OUUUUUUUCH. Right after this scene, I swore I heard a round of women applauding outside my apartment; Tasha, you go girl! She went straight Diddy on a playa: Take that. Take that. Take that.
At the end of the episode, Issa makes her way down to her neighbor Eddie’s house. She hooks up with him and it is hysterical and awkward at the same damn time. First of all, the actor portraying Eddie used to star on Nickelodeon’s “Victorious” (don’t ask me how I know that…) and seeing him in his birthday suit trying to have sex with a grown ass woman was AWKWARD. However, it made for good television. At end of their romp, he asks if she wants to stay over and she declines, making a quick exit. She walks out with a smirk on her face, proud of her accomplishment. I guess she had another itch to scratch.
Lastly, HBO announced yesterday that it will be renewing “Insecure” for a third season! AWW YEAH! “Celebrate good times, come on!” Looks like we will be getting more of Issa and the squad come next year.
Let me know your thoughts about this past week’s episode in the comments below. In the coming attractions for next week’s episode, it looks like a blast from the past is making an appearance.
If you need to catch up, check out my previous Insecure recaps here on FanBros.com!